I was afraid to say, "Whatever" until now...
I know the passion burning in my heart and yet I'm humble enough to know that I can't do it alone ~ I need help. I made a list of what I need ~ specific details... slipped the paper in my God box two nights ago. I called R (the prayer lady), "I need your help, can we meet?" "Of course, Krista... come on over." Before leaving the house yesterday, I checked my e-mail... and there was an e-mail from a gal...
"We've never met, however I read your web site and it says that you want to include equine therapy in your program... I just completed my certification and was wondering if perhaps you might need some assistance." Are you kidding me?! THAT was one of the specific things I prayed for ~ an equine specialist! Less than 12 hours and it was answered!
So... I get to R's house... bursting with excitement for this new program I want to get started. Her kids were there... they looked like shy doves...wanting to hear what I had to say, yet not wanting to be disrespectful. I invited them to join us... really? Their eye's lit up... We all sat in the living room, and they all listened intently as I described my "passion". R said, "what do you need from me?" I shyly responded, "I need you to pray." I turned to the kids and asked them to commit to praying for the program as well. It was as if I had handed them the presidency of the United States ~ the boys jaw dropped as if to say, "YOU want ME to be involved too..." I reached my hand across the table and took each of the kids hands into my own... "This IS a kids program... who better to lead, than a child?" We all held hands and prayed... the boy boldly prayed unashamed of his speech impediment... and my courage was lifted...
Then... to my office for a client. A young girl that I have NOT managed to reach. I usually connect with kids rather easily... but she is so locked inside herself. I've met with her a few times... nothing. NO connection. Devine appointment? I took Abby to the office with me... The girl came in, plopped down, folded her arms ~ silently challenging me (again) to try to break her defenses. I explained to her that my dog is NOT friendly either... as I'm telling this child that my dog bites... Abby waddled over to her... unsure...tentative... and lifted her bony paw, scratching the girls leg. I sat quietly... just watching...as the girl lifted her bony hand and began to scratch Abby's belly... She then moved onto the floor, where Abby promptly laid down, rolled over and encouraged this broken girl to rub her belly. If the girl stopped, that bony paw reached for her tiny hand to continue... it was mesmerizing (to me anyway). I was speechless... Shortly into the "scratching" session... she began to speak (the girl that is)... she said, "sometimes bad things happen to make people bite." I just waited and she continued... "my grandpa touched me in places I didn't want him to... so I just don't let anyone get close to me anymore." She lifted her eyes to meet mine... I could see the tears, waiting for permission to fall... pooled... long awaited... It was the first time she's told anyone... And in that moment I became unafraid to say, "Whatever"
Whatever I can do to reach them
Whatever I can do to give permission for their tears
Whatever is required of me, I will do it
Animals can reach people in ways that no human ever could ~ regardless of skill. I DO believe I owe my dog $150! She did in 15 min. what could have taken me a lifetime... she loved that little girl into her "space" (being somewhat demanding of the "scratches"), fingers and paws joined to create the understanding that sometimes bad things happen to make people bite...
Krista, thank you for this...what that girl said...took me right back to 13/14 yrs old...waiting for permission to cry. It's a very touching thing hearing it from a different prespective. That's all anyone ever needs...permission. I guess that's all we ever want to hear..."It's okay...it's okay to cry." And, we do.
ReplyDeleteI just...hmm........