I made 'em cry

So... my "talk" went really GOOD. I made 'em cry! That's how I know I touched 'em... That was this morning. Then tonight, they asked me to speak again. However, I didn't have anything prepared ~ just Johnny on the spot! WOW! And... I think I'm gonna get "booked" to do a women's retreat!

It's been raining here all day. A hot, windy rain... and it's lightening outside. I've parted the curtains in my room and have an amazing view of the city and the storm.

Long day.

Tomorrow it's off to her house for some personal training time. This woman is truly...ah... no words; imagine that ~ ME speechless! And I have to go with NO make-up. NO hair-do. NO clothes :) kidding ~ just not dressy clothes. Tomorrow this woman that I absolutely respect... is having some folks come in to completely re-do my DO. She sort of "flipped" when she saw my self-imposed hair cut... ummm what do you want me to do... glue it back on?

Time for a long, hot bath and a good book! Night Night

running through halls naked

What a beautiful drive... open highway...miles and miles of landscape... only one "pit" stop. And would you believe there was a line at the rest stop? Have you ever seen a "busy" rest stop? I was gonna go into the men's side, but I didn't think the big burly lady with the yellow vest (that said something about corrections on the back) would appreciate that. So, I waited in line.

Finally found my hotel. Wheewww I was exhausted. Yet, when I pulled into the driveway... something didn't feel "good". Perhaps it had something to do with the row of women, in tight clothes and lots of makeup... dunno. I couldn't figure out why they'd be standing outside, in the 110 degree heat with high heels on???? But my gut told me NOT to stay there...

I drove to the other side of town... and said, "okay... I need a hotel...and a nice one...and I need it within an hour" (because I had a dinner function to go to that started in 2 hours). Found my "speaking" place and then back tracked from there... Here's how it happened... I was almost worried because it was cutting it so close to my time to be at the place and I NEEDED a shower and make-up... Literally 4 blocks from the place... my eye caught the sign "Yes, we are Open". I flipped a u-turn (never you mind that I cut off about 5 cars doing it). It IS a beautiful hotel... just opened... the first floor isn't even completed yet... They just opened yesterday! And I have the whole hotel to myself :) You know what that means, don't you? Means... I can run up and down the halls naked if I wanna! :)

Well, I'd love to stay and chat... however, I'm speaking in about 2 hours... and I have one more hall to run through before I get ready. :)

Peace and Love

6:30am. two pillows. check. blanket. check. luggage. check. rocks. check. gas... I'll get that on my way. kiss the dogs. check. feed the fish. check. (did I tell you that I have 2 little shark things, and about 50 little fish in my pond?) feed the bird. check. double CHECK luggage.

One pillow at the head rest. One pillow on the seat. And a blanket over that... My passenger and I will lean into the rising sun, once again... and find total freedom on the open road. This adventure begins now. I feel calm and ready for the next step on this proverbial path...

Please, love each other while I'm gone... No yelling, no hatred, no deceiving... Remember, lift one another to their highest GOOD.

Peace and Love!

She's in Heaven now...

“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than the person to be loved.”

Barbara Johnson

What an AMAZING woman! I remember the first time I heard Barbara speak... So funny and inspirational and her story... omg... incredible. On July 2, 2007 Barbara Johnson went to be with her Lord. My Mom called and told me... naturally, I was sad. Mom said, "It's very sad for us, but she's in Heaven now with her husband, two sons and CHUCK!" How blessed we were to have had her on earth... bet she's up in Heaven picking geraniums. :)

Taking Matters into my own hands...

I hated it! Today was my "hair cut" day... and I totally hated it! I woulda cried, but I had a client. It was horrible and now I'm afraid it's worse. LOL I took matters into my own hands ~ which apparently were holding that razor... So, what I've decided is this ~ they can fiddle with my make-up, my clothes, even my eye-brows... but never, will they ever touch my hair again. It just brought me back to my modeling days... my (then) agent tried to tell me what to do ~ I remember the Ms. Orange pageant... Long hair, Krista... the girls with long hair are winning. Geeze. I can't be put into a box again. What you see with me, is what you get. And right now... I have a self-inflicted hair cut AND I'm speaking in a few days, in another state!

So... this gal called me on Tues. She was referred to me because she has extreme anxiety and depression. I heard it in her voice... something wasn't right... and I wasn't comfortable letting her off the phone until she scheduled an appointment with me. Finally got her to commit to seeing me tonight. (see why I couldn't be crying about my hair cut?). So... she showed up, with her mother.

Her mother began to tell me what the (40 year old) daughter's "problem" was... I just listened and observed... and when I had enough, I stopped the mother, looked at the woman and said, "Would you like to know what I think?"

Guess they came for my opinion after all :) I said, "Based on the physical symptoms you are describing... I would say, it stems back to an emotional injury somewhere between the ages of 2-4." Blank stares. If at first you don't succeed, try try again. "What happened to you between the ages of 2-4?" Blank stares. I knew that I knew what I was talking about... my intuition had kicked in and I was confident of what I was saying... Finally the mother says... she was kidnapped at age two and it took us a long time to find her. To that, the young woman broke down... Bless her heart! She shared with me, that she fully intended to kill herself on Tuesday, but called me as a last ditch effort to find some reason not to do it... I HOPE she found that reason...

Suddenly my hair wasn't so important anymore...

Time Warner Cable

WOW! What an experience! I'm almost speechless... yet, I will say... I haven't worn that much make-up since... well... the last time I was on the TEA VEE. It will air on... wait...what day did she say? We did two shoots, for two different days. Tues. and Thurs. 5:00 pm ~ the channel will vary depending on where you "tune" in from...

Anyway... I'm beat. That took everything out of me today... I'll go find you a video to watch and leave you in Peace...

Highest Good

I've been asked to explain what I mean by wanting the "Highest GOOD" for others... It is simply desiring another person to reach their greatest potential ~  to find total peace and happiness in their lives ~ to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.

WHAT is it that will make that person achieve their greatest potential? I don't want others to hold onto their anger, bitterness, resentments because that blocks them from love, joy and peace; that's NOT their highest GOOD. I would encourage them to let all the negativity go so that they can truly experience the positive... and when people are functioning at their greatest potential... that IS when they have the greatest impact on the lives of others (positively).

Another component to the "highest good" is to see people with ONLY their GOOD qualities... Law of Attraction: If I see only the good in people, perhaps they will "show up" the way I am "seeing" them. If I expect someone to be a "jerk" ~ they will. If I expect someone to be "kind" ~ they will. Law of Attraction. Self-Fulfilling prophecy.

This is NOT a new "philosophy" for ME... I've been about the "highest good" for many years... Some have said I have a "Pollyanna Syndrome".

Be The Change...

"Be the change you want to see in the world" Gandhi

I WANT things to be different... therefore I am CHOOSING things to be different... I WILL be the change I want to see...

Let me tell you a true story...

A gal was put in charge of motivating the employee's to increase their customer service at a grocery store. She put together her talk and presented it to a room full of employee's ~ calling on them to make a difference to their customers...

Johnny took her talk to heart and decided he wanted to make a difference too... even though he was JUST a bagger AND he had down syndrome. So, with the help of his father, he wrote a "thought for the day", printed up the little slips of paper and as he was bagging the groceries for his customers, he'd slip that piece of paper into the bag.

About a month later, the manager called the corporate office and said, "You have got to see this! The line at the check out stand wraps around the aisle... I opened more registers, but the customers didn't move... they said they wanted to be in Johnny's line to get the "thought for the day". I don't know what to do." One lady said, she used to go to the store once a week, but now goes in every day just to get Johnny's thought for the day.

Who would have thought? A bagger with a diminished mental capacity... doing something so simple, yet impacting so many people? He was the change he wanted to see...

There are 3 things I do ~ which raises my level of "peace" ~ it's simple really... you wanna do it too?

1. Random acts of kindness ~ send out LOVE to others... think of others ONLY in LOVE

2. Find my JOY daily ~ Being thankful and grateful for all that I have... giving thanks always.

3. Uplift my soul ~ with music or sweet stories like the one above... SURROUND myself with POSITIVE people, thoughts, behaviors... that means I don't watch the NEWS or

allow negative people to influence me or my world.

I've been invited to the studio again! I'm gonna be on the Tea Vee! Going on Weds. to tape the show... Apparently, my agent doesn't like my self-imposed hair cut. LOL Never mind that I took a RAZOR to it... I do believe there is little hope for me ~ I'm forever cutting on my own hair. She's sending me for a complete make-over! Ahhh come on! If they make me wear heels, I'll flip out! I told her, I'd surrender my eye-brows to them, if they promise to leave my hair alone. LOL no deal.

Pocket Full of Rocks (#4)

I still collect rocks. They are a tangible reminder of where I've been...and what I hope for. I'll pick a rock for it's unique shape to remind me that I am unique, I am human and fallible...then I'll write something to remind me where I got that rock from.

I still walk around with a pocket full of rocks. However, I don't keep them all for myself. I like to give them away... to offer hope to others... to let them know that they are loved and valuable.

Even as a little girl, I knew the ROCK would save my life!

Pocket Full of Rocks (#3)

The lesson I have learned... is that life is hard ~ ROCK hard sometimes. The storms of life happen to all of us at some point in our lives. Yet, the storms don't determine if we stay "standing", rather is IS the foundation upon which we have built our "house".

Take a house built in Malibu and a house built in Manhattan. They could even be the exact same floor plan, model, same color etc... When the storms of life come (and they come for everyone) which house will remain standing? Malibu is built on sand. Manhattan is built on the tip of a granite rock. For the foundation WILL determine the final outcome... How often do we see the pictures of "Malibu" being destroyed by the winds, flood, fires? Every year, Malibu is in the news... but they continue to build their houses on the sand. How often do you read or hear about Manhattan being destroyed by the storms? NEVER. The only thing that could crush the house in Manhattan is the enemy slamming a 747 into it's belly! For the house in Malibu was built by the fool ~ built on shaking ground of lies and deceit and flimsy DIRT. The house in Manhattan was built by the wise ~ built on solid TRUTH!

The storms of life come for all of us...

One such storm happened in my life... He was 13 years old when his parents brought him to our drug rehab. Mark was addicted to heroin. I worked with this boy and his parents for months, and desperately tried to teach Mark how to kill his giant ~ heroin. I'll NEVER forget the morning the call came in, "Dr. Krista, Mark killed himself last night." I was shaken! He was only 13 years old!

I wanted to quit. I ran...  I was DONE, "That's it! I'm NOT doing this work anymore!" I threw my rocks down and refused to pick them back up. 

"Why me?"

The answer was undeniable...

"Why NOT you? You are a simple girl, entangled with the same mistakes and shortcomings as everyone else... Why NOT you? You are a small pebble plucked from a stream and when thrown by my hand, giants in the lives of those around you have fallen; it is NOT your strength, but mine... Why NOT you?"

So... I picked up my rocks and began to build on the foundation of TRUTH... 

I am filling my pockets full of rocks... and I will teach them to fill their pockets too!

Pocket Full of Rocks (#2)

Then I began to collect rocks from other people & myself...putting them into my pocket and carrying them everywhere I went.

"You're not good enough"
"You're not smart enough"
"Something is instrinsically wrong with you"
"Your own mother didn't love you enough"

The burden became unbearable. I was totally defeated laying in that bed in the ICU. They called my family and pastor in, where they prayed over me as I lay dying (literally)... bleeding internally and dying from Anorexia Nervosa. I was so thin, you could see my backbone through my stomach. I was, once again, failing to thrive. I remember hearing the doctor say, "it'll be a miracle if she lives."

From the hospital, I was sent to an inpatient treatment facility for my eating disorder. Those were the worst 10 weeks of my life. However, something happened for me there...

Every morning, I'd go out to the edge of the ranch where the wooden cross rose up from the desert floor. I'd kneel at that cross and pray, "I don't want to die." Every morning I'd watch the sun rise, and every morning I was thankful to be alive.

One by one I laid my collection of rocks down at the foot of the cross...

"You're not good enough"

"You're not smart enough"

"Something is intrinsically wrong with you"

"You're own mother didn't Love you enough"

I laid them down... then I exchanged those rocks with rocks of TRUTH.

"I am loved"

"I am valuable"

And I filled my pockets with the rocks of Truth! I stand before you today with 10 years of recovery and another lesson I have learned along the way...

Pocket Full of Rocks (#1)

Did any of you have any weird habits as a kid? I used to walk around with a pocket full of rocks. I thought those rocks would save my life!

I was born Dec. 2, 19-something and I weighed 7.5 lbs. That's important to tell you, because 7 weeks later while my 15 year old drug addicted mother and my 19 year old drug addicted father were being arrested, the police found me in our home (which was a VW van) weighing only 2.5 lbs.

At the hospital, I was given my first label ~ Infant with Failure to Thrive. The doctor said, "It'll be a miracle if this baby lives." We obviously know how that story ended, because I'm talking to you today.

To any 2, 3, 4 year old child, anyone over 5 feet is a GIANT. When my giant social worker would come to "visit" me, I knew my life was going to be disrupted AGAIN. So, when she would appear, I would disappear. I'd hide... under beds, on top of the roof, anywhere...

My foster Mom took me to church, where I heard the story of David and Goliath... the story of a little Shepard boy that killed the giant with one tiny rock. So, I figured that I needed to have rocks with me at all times... then I could KILL my giant (and I wouldn't have to go to any more foster homes). From then on, I walked around with a pocket full of rocks.

No, I never had the courage to THROW any of those rocks, but I had them with me just in case.

six little children

He was lured into the car, though no one really knows exactly how. The only thing we know for certain is that he suffered...greatly! They took him to a remote hilltop and beat him unmercifully. He couldn't have seen it coming... they drove over his legs, breaking them. Unable to flee, they poured gasoline over his bloodied body and lit him on fire. But, the fire went out quickly. He was still alive. They left him, broken and charred. To the gas station to buy more gas, then to McD's for a burger... then back up to that remote hilltop to the 17 year old boy, who lay dying. Together, they poured the gasoline over his body and put the final torch to him...and left him burning ALIVE. His family was annihilated by the brutality of D's death. We went to the trial ~ my Mom and I. Held his mother's hand as they showed the jury pictures of her son's mutilated body... Those two only got 25 years to life in prison for this horrific crime.

The family is poor ~ very poor. This past Christmas we pooled our resources and "made" them a Christmas. I didn't have much to give... I was poor myself. I did have food stamps though... So, I used all that I had to buy the family groceries...

They came to church today! All of them! Sister seat saver (my Mom) saved the entire row of seats and they filled them all. Six of the younger siblings and cousins went to Vacation Bible School at the church last week. Between my Mom and I, we made sure they had a ride every morning and were picked up every afternoon... How beautiful it was to see those six little children sing in the children's choir today! Nothing will bring D back... yet, I counted six of his sisters and cousins singing "Our God is an Awesome God" in church today.

She doesn't speak English, D's mom... But I understood "agradézcale mi amiga por su compasión en mi familia" (thank you my friend for your compassion on my family).

Saturday Morning "Cartoon"

In the mail yesterday, came about 7 CD's ~ a guy I used to work with at D-land ~ burned to CD's SEVERAL of the shows, parades, etc... that we were in together. WOW! What GREAT memories! That was such a FUN time in my life ~ I really did have a lot of opportunities while working there ~ performing ~ dancing ~ I LOVED it! I'll see if I can find some video's to link on to this bloP...

do the research

http://www.statcounter.com/

Giving you the link so you can research my "discovery" ~ check out the different types of counters ~ some TRACK the IP addresses of site visitors...