animals and alcohol

Okay first can I just tell you that the animal control people SUCK! So, my dog died in September... When I got the renewal thing, I returned it with the box checked, "No longer have this pet". Yesterday, I got a late notice for my DEAD dog! I calmly detached at the perforated line, quietly got a pen... and wrote, "This dog is STILL DEAD!" Karma for making the nail lady cry?

Next let me tell you NOT to drink alcohol in a jacuzzi. I'm not a drinker... once in a blue moon I'll have A drink. So, I was at my friends party... we were swimming, bar-b-q-ing (mine was vegetarian and she used separate utensils)... the ladies get into the 'cuzzi... me too. However, I was drinking A smirnoff. I'm fine. Get out. Walk into the house and WHAM! I was down for the count.

I'm building a fish pond in my backyard! That'll give me some manual labor AND keep me out of trouble. I've sketched it out and know how it looks in my head... I must say, the palm tree in MY sketch looks MUCH healthier than the palm tree in my back yard! LOL

Finally, let me tell you that I am SO excited, I'm jumping out of my skin! Just got a phone call this morning... Holllyyyy Tooollleeddddo! I just got my FIRST horse for my "program"! They will haul him out here... 

This weekend is going to be crazy busy ~ between my fish pond (cuz when I get it in my head to do something ~ I won't stop 'till it's done),

In the mean time, I have clients today... and a blue moon to look at tonight.

Once in a Blue Moon

"Blue moon" appears to have been a colloquial expression long before it developed its calendrical senses. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first reference to a blue moon comes from a proverb recorded in 1528:

If they say the moon is blue,
We must believe that it is true.

Saying the moon was blue was equivalent to saying the moon was made of green (or cream) cheese; it indicated an obvious absurdity. In the 19th century, the phrase until a blue moon developed, meaning "never." The phrase, once in a blue moon today has come to mean "every now and then" or "rarely"—whether it gained that meaning through association with the lunar event remains uncertain.

The more recent phenomenon, where the blue moon is considered to be the second full moon in a calendar month, last occurred on July 31, 2004. Although the full moon occurring Thursday, May 31, 2007, will look like an ordinary full moon, it will actually be a bit extraordinary—a blue moon. May 2007 will have two full moons: the first on May 2, the second on May 31—that second full moon is called the blue moon.

Perhaps it will happen when the moon is blue? If you are waiting for a blue moon to do something... Now is the time! Tomorrow IS the BLUE moon....

I AM...

I am strong

I am talented

I am generous

I am kind

I am complex

I am simple

I am shy

I am smart

I am intense

I am self-conscience

I am confident

I am spiritual

I am loving

I am bold

I am innocent

I am honest

I am beautiful

I am forgiving

I am stubborn

I am persistent

I am humorous


I know who I AM, who are YOU?

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Memorial Weekend

Princess Bride! So, my Niece came in from Arizona and we rallied to get her wedding invitations done... and I am not exaggerating when I say there were a MILLION little bows to tie, envelopes to stuff, labels to peel and stick... and I was given the task of handwriting ALL the "inner" envelopes. Ahhh but how fun it was! Truly my family can turn any TASK into a time of laughter and fellowship. And how productive a room of OCD women can be ~ let me tell ya! We were SO organized... and we finished it all! Yeah... the Princess Bride is getting married in August... then the other one is getting married.

Congrats again M! The Baccalaureate was touching... I may have been the only one listening to the speaker ~ but I'm a nerd that way. And the graduation! I don't think I've ever enjoyed a graduation ~ not even my own. Of course, I refused to clap for the Honorary Doctorate fella... It just pinches my nerve when they HAND someone a Doctorate ~ SOME of us worked very hard for our degree's... but other than that... It was a GREAT graduation... And the party, and the other party... and the other party ~ thanks for inviting me and including me in the FUN. YOUR friends are amazing... One can really tell a person's "character" by the friends they keep... I felt comfortable with all the folks at your graduation/part(ies).


MY NEXT MISSION (wanna join me?)

Mrs. A fell and she couldn't get up! This 90 year old woman (who's still very active) fell Sat. night (@ 5pm) in her back yard. She broke her HIP! Not able to get up and in excruciating pain, she managed to crawl into a bush to try to keep warm. She said, "I kept talking to myself, because I was afraid to close my eyes). Sunday, a woman from the church went to her house (because Mrs. A has NEVER missed church)... the woman found her and called 911. They went through her cell phone to call "the next of kin". My # = "this number has been disconnected or is no longer in service". My Mom's phone was turned off (cuz she was in church) and Mrs. A's only son lives in Chicago... Mrs. A had Hypothermia (damaged internal organs) and the surgery would have been too risky...

The "Mission" is this ~ Life Alert SHOULD be FREE for elderly people! It is senseless to make old people pay for a service that could save their lives! So... that's IT. I'm writing to whomever WILL listen (and even those that won't) to lobby for this service to be provided at no cost for the elderly...

Persistent

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University president's outer office.

The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge. She frowned.

"We want to see the president," the man said softly.

"He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped.

"We'll wait," the lady replied.

For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. "Maybe if they just saw you for a few minutes, then they would leave. So in exasperation he nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, but he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern-faced with dignity, strutted toward the couple.

The lady told him, "We had a son that attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."

The president wasn't touched; he was shocked. "Madam," he said gruffy, "We can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery,"

"Oh, no," the lady explained quickly, "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard." The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent.

The president was pleased. He could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a University? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

Congratulations M! Great things come to those that are persistent and determined in their quest. I'm proud of your accomplishment and I WILL be at your graduation with HONOR and I will blow the horn when they call your name! Thank YOU for not turning this gingham dress away...

crease

I have this "crease" in between my eyebrows... You know what I'm talking about? Look in a mirror and put a "confused" ~ eyebrows together look... see that "crease"? Yeah, mine is like permanent. It is from looking at some people so often, thinking "Who ARE you and HOW did you get on MY planet?"

Woke up with a strange...foreboding feeling AGAIN this morning... and of course there was the TAP TAP HAMMER HAMMER! My friend suggested going outside, phone in hand and talk about the INS really loudly... They'd scatter. With MY luck though, one of 'em would fall, break a leg, sue ME (for intentionally scaring the poop of 'em and forcing his fall) and WIN. So... I grit my teeth and endure TAP TAP HAMMER HAMMER.

In between clients yesterday ~ I had just enough time to go get my nails done. You know how it goes? The standard questions ~ are you married? No. Have children? ummm No. Now the gal was doing her thing on my precious little finger... when the children question came up... the woman had a friggin DRILL in her hand! I said, "No, I have dogs." And at that moment (DRILL ON MY LITTLE FINGER) she started CRYING... not tiny little tears... BAWLING. And there went my "crease" again... AND my serenity as she was still DRILLING on my precious little finger... "Ummm did I hurt your feelings?" I asked. Still crying and still drilling she said, "My dog, I had long time. Dog family. This my first day back work. Dog killed 5 day ago and I cry for 5 day." Oh geeze... I felt... I felt... PAIN! I yanked my hand away, but the burning... oh the burning. LOLOLOL Bless her heart though... I understand that gut wrenching agony after a loss. And now I understand what a drill is capable of doing to a precious little finger. :)

Now, I'm gonna go put lotion on my crease and soak my little finger in Epsom salt.

LUCY

So... I woke up early... did my routine ~ coffee, feed bird, check e-mail, sign into my virtual office to begin my work day... Barely awake and I hear this noise! At 6 am!!!

My friend IM'd me and we were talking ~ I told her about the noise... then of course I "went" with it... No, it sounds like digging on cement... No, it sounds like scraping... Maybe he killed his wife and is burying her in the back yard... Yeah, that's it. Maybe she found out his dirty little secret and he killed her... Dead (wo)men tell no tales! Then I went outside to have my morning smoke and my QUIET time... There ain't nothing quiet about today :) They are re-roofing the house behind me. LOL I counted 10 men on that roof! Bet it doesn't take them the 6 mo's it took me!

Did I tell you the turtle is back? Yeah... So... not only is he back, but there are TWO more additions to the family... a water turtle and a BIG tortoise. All those signs across town, ad in the paper, trips to the pound, ya know? My Dad is all proud ~ he got his very OWN turtle now... WHAT has gotten into the man? He must have hit his head pretty hard the other day. This is the man that FREAKED out every time I came home with "another" rescue... (and trust me...it was like a daily occurrence with me). Her name is LUCY (as in I LOVE Lucy)! After ME! He called and said he named HIS new turtle after ME cuz she's always getting into something... Geeee.... Thanks? He built her a house too... I'm telling you... Something ain't right in Denmark!


And that's ALL I'm saying today... cuz I'm liable to set some sparks 'a flying somewhere... Okay, I'll just say one thing :) ~ picture THIS...

A triangle of women... there's drama and chaos and craziness... take ONE woman OUT of the triangle...and low and behold...the drama and chaos and craziness continues! Hmmm rocket science? I think NOT! The one that was taken OUT of it, couldn't have been the CAUSE of it.

Changing my phone number today ~ so... ya might as well take it out of your phone... Please... once again ~ leave me out of your craziness... And your tears won't work on me... the ONLY one I feel sorry for is my ex-friend ~ cuz she's got her hands full with that one...

Signed,
LUCY

Rolling MY eyes

So... there I was, taking a nap in the middle of the day ~ I was OUT. So out that I was drooling... and my phone rang... It was "C"

"Krista, did YOU call me the other night? "

"No"

"You sure?"

"Yes"

"You didn't call me in the middle of the night?"

OMG... NO! I haven't called ANYONE (from THAT group). We had a normal, pleasant conversation... hung up ~ things were okay... Then about 20 min. later... my phone rang AGAIN...

"KRISTA IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, SAY IT TO ME... C'S VERY UPSET AND WHATEVER YOU SAID... MADE HER CHOKE ON HER FOOD!"

"I don't know what you're talking about... and calm down... WHY are YOU calling ME SCREAMING?"

So... I called C to see if I had offended her or upset her... UMMMM NO... Thus my eye ROLLING... I'm sitting here like the kid in the Home Alone movie ~ hands on checks, mouth agape, eye's WIDE OPEN...

THAT woman is truly NUTS! When WILL she stop? Perhaps it's time to change my phone number... Whheewww and if my "ex friend" is still co-signing her behavior and craziness... Wow! Too friggin much!

Alas... I Googled myself today! MY second book IS listed! YAHOOOO! Doing a little dance... Yippie! Oh and the TURTLE has been FOUND. sigggghhhhh.... My turtle has been "missing" for months. Put signs up all over town... an add in the paper... taken several trips to the pound (the lady down there knows me by name! And whenever a turtle was turned in, she'd call). So... now I'm going to go water my lawn and pretend I didn't have that "hiccup" today... Lose my number already!

WHO SAYS?

Who Says... I can't put up mini-blinds with a butter knife?

Who Says... I can't put a futon together (by-myself) with a butter knife?

Who Says... I can't re-roof my house by myself (and not with a butter knife)?

Who Says... I can't put a shed together by myself?

Who Says... I can't cut my own hair?

Who Says... I can't ride a motorcycle?

Who Says... I have to look for a job in the classifieds and NOT the obituaries?

Who Says... I'm NOT capable of being "just friends"?

HA!

I finally have all the puzzle pieces (from the past several months ~ almost a YEAR) and I have NO need to go over it again ~ I now see the bigger picture (I know what happened)... I wasn't seeking out the missing pieces ~ they came to me little by little. That one told me my "ex friend" is afraid to come back into my life, because she's AFRAID of me. But I hold NO anger towards her, nor do I blame her for any of it... she was duped...lied to...deceived. That's plain to see... I would NOT cut her at the knee's (as I did the other one). Nor would I feel the need to throw the other one under the bus ~ she's already done that herself. When I asked if she told her that I was "following her, sitting outside her house, breaking into her house, creating screen names"... she said that she admitted to her that she was the one doing all that... Soooo

Who Says?!

WoW...

That was fun! I'd never been to one of those events before ~ Long Beach Pride... My friend was the MC ~ Christine O'Leary ~ funniest woman ever! 

Cracked Pots

Cracked Pot Inspirational Story

A water bearer in India had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house. The cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream."I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?""I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.

But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table.

Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is a lot of good in us!

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life! Thank you to the cracked pots in my life. You have made life more interesting and beautiful.


My Dad fell yesterday and CRACKED his head open... I just told him, God uses Cracked pots too... Today is my friend's birthday... I'm going to get her some See's chocolates and deliver them to her Salon... When I didn't have anything to offer ~ she gave to me from her heart... blessing me with her kindness... Happy Birthday!

10 Easy Steps

10 Easy Steps to throwing someone under the bus...

Step One: Start Engine
Step Two: Shift to "drive"
Step Three: Excellerate
Step Four: Hit Object
Step Five: Shift to "reverse"
Step Six: Excellerate
Step Seven: Hit Object
Step Eight: Shift to "park"
Step Nine: turn engine off
Step Ten: Repeat steps one-nine until object no longer moves.

Ha! DMV

The friggin DMV makes me nervous... It has everything to do with the time I went to renew my license and just about go arrested! My little sister (whom I didn't know even existed) had stolen my identity... she had warrants for HER arrest under MY license... SO... I had to take my newly found sister to court to get it STRAIGHTENED out... Thus, the DMV makes me nervous.

I had an appointment... was called up to window 2 where the guy with the matted toupee was sitting... He began to speak to me. Ummmm was THAT English? Couldn't even read his lips, because "S" looked very much like a "T" and so on... "Read Tign numba Sree". EJPTU. "Kovor lefs eye." MKESP. "Kovor righs eye". AQLERT. "Donah?" "pardon" "you wunt to donate?" "umm NO?" (I'm picturing in my head ~ I'm laying there teetering between life and death and the medic says, "Hey she's a donar, Billy needs a heart, let her DIE)"Go soo winow B.Kome back Su me."

Get to window B ~ and you'd 'a thought I was at Disneyland...sing ~ song "placeyour thumbheresigntherestepbackandSMILE". Back to window 2 to toupee man... "Pay now" (that was clear). Soooo go here, then there... stand in line to take THE test. I'm thinking ~ I have to pass AND I have to beat M's score (but I'm not competitive at all). They made me take the regular written test too! I passed AND I beat M!

Stopped at Taco Bell on the way to Mom's... whoa back up. So, my Mom called this morning and asked if I would take so and so to the court house. No. Why? I can't. Will you watch my dog then so I can take her? No. Why? I can't. Geeze... I told her I was going to the DMV. Why? Because...ask me NO questions and I'll tell you no lies.

Get her food...never talk to a mother on an empty stomach and wait till she takes a bite to tell her you just passed your motorcycle test! :)

"and who's motorcycle are you going to ride?"
"nobody's...it's not a motorcycle and it's mine."
"that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
"prolly" shrug...
"well, just don't get yourself killed...I have enough to worry about."

The End.

Teenie Weenie Dog

Wow! So, the silly little video is taking off... Right on! The message is clear ~ "GOOD" does count ~ Nice guys don't always have to finish last! Wheewww that's good news, because I was seriously beginning to wonder about that... Do the bad guys ever get caught at their game? Do the good guys ever get what they deserve?

I'm studying... Going to the DMV to take my motorcycle license. Actually, I'm kinda nervous about it. Tests don't usually bother me... I mean come on, I've been faced with greater challenging tests, but this little motorcycle test has ME nervous. We'll see...

So, the other day, my Mom called me all in a panic, "Quick get over here, it's an emergency." I dropped everything and went flying over there ~ thinking somebody was ill or injured. No. My mom was babysitting her sister-in-laws little (and I mean tiny) dog. When L came home, the dog escaped! The little teenie weenie dog ran away. My Mom grabbed her phone, but no shoes and took off after the dog. She called me and C. I live across town and it took me a good 5 mins to get there (I was speeding). Here's the scene I came upon...

BIG truck stopped in the middle'ish of the street, my barefooted mother with her arm's flailing, C breathless and hair poking out in all directions. But I DIDN'T see a teenie weenie dog. I got out of my car, crossed the street in time to see C jump into the man's passenger window... Feet off the ground, body dangling into the truck...and then I heard it. The TEENIE WEENIE dog was fighting back! C withdrew from the window and blood was dripping off both her arms. So, my Mom says to ME, "open the door and get the dog out." I said, "Are you kidding me? I'm not going to get bit up... Mr. you just got yourself a dog." Poor guy... he looked like he was about to go into shock! Mom got the dog out, carried it home and promptly put into the carrier. The man drove back to the house where I CLEANED out his truck. Let me say it this way... BOY dog, scared = pee'd all over the truck. Like a hose turned on, but no one at the controls... AND that's not all... little teenie weenie dog was scared = dog shit everywhere! And I am NOT exaggerating...EVERYWHERE.

The guy said he was driving by and saw my Mom running down the street with a handicapped woman chasing her and he thought something was wrong... so he pulled over to help my Mom... when he opened his door, that little dog came out of nowhere and jumped up into his truck!

In the middle of all THAT ~ the window guy came to replace the kitchen window (and MY dog was trying to KILL him), the cancer dog had diarrhea in the living room and Mrs. S (from church) stopped by to say "hey".

I cleaned up all the dog "stuff" while apologizing profusely to the guy... "I'm so sorry... these things only happen in MY family..." My Mom had gone to change her clothes, cuz she had dog poop all over her! She came out with CD's for the man... Actually, he was really NICE about the whole thing and turns out... he lives up the street, just got home from Iraq and is acclimating to "normal" life again. Buddy, get involved with MY family and your life ain't never going to be "normal"... Him and his wife may come to church on Sunday. :)

Mom did NOT tell her sister-in-law about the teenie weenie dog's great escape... I haven't told my Mom about the Vespa.

I'm going to the DMV to take my motorcycle test!

what would YOU do

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be in the Green Peace! LOL but my Mom said it wouldn't pay the bills, so I became a psychologist. Yet, animal activism has remained a passion for me. I'm happy to report that Ruby is being moved! After YEARS of trying to get her relocated, she is FINALLY going to greener pastures. Yeah RUBY! All those letters paid off... Go... in PEACE. What would YOU do about something you are passionate about?

http://cbs2.com/pets/local_story_070233847.html

Mother's Day

Sunday...
Mother's Day...

Woke up with my hair sticking out all over the place (that'll teach me to go to bed with wet hair)... to the doggie beach...

Took the dogs off their leashes, we continued on... jojo ran over and pee'd on a lady! I said, "quick walk that way and pretend like we don't know THAT dog!" 

Hmmm I think I figured IT out! Look at the pic with the light in it... See anything...ummm wrong? Sometimes we are just tootin along, minding our own business... somethings not right...then we SEE it SO clearly!

Back home to shower and get ready for dinner with the family. So... we're sitting at the table, every one's talking and laughing and... then I say, "hey, how's your kitten?" DEAD silence... everyone just stopped talking... like the whole world stopped talking...for like days!

"uhhh a phone call every now and then would be good!" I said. I didn't know what happened. I just knew something happened. My sister started crying. He said, "why did you have to say that?" Ummm how was I supposed to know the dog used the kitten for a squeaky toy? Ahhh but we recovered quickly...

We gathered together for a photo or two or a million... and my brother-in-law was the "shooter". Now, here's the part about that ~ he has recently been diagnosed with MS and is RAPIDLY declining... This 44 year old man, who can no longer dress himself and his 11 year old son had to cut up his food... was taking the pictures! He couldn't hold the camera real well and he couldn't feel the button to snap the photo! But he WAS determined and we all had our pictures made.

Special Dog

Ahhh never mind... I WAS going to tell you about jojo my SPECIAL dog... took the dogs to the dog park yesterday ~ and I'm telling you ~ something is not normal about that dog... I even took my camera and videoed his weirdness :) But, I can't figure out how to upload it onto this bloP. I know it's possible... I just haven't figured it out yet... So... stay tuned...cuz now I'm determined to figure it out and mark my words... I WILL.

White Knuckle Day

http://music.aol.com/video/stand/rascal-flatts/1881661

Ahhhh I got my feet up underneath me again... Yesterday was a "White Knuckle" day. So many emotions; so many thoughts...

I was sitting out back in the early morning, drinking my coffee, having my quiet time... watching a little worm making its way across the cement. Lost in thought ~ finding my center ~ and right before my eyes, a bird came out of nowhere and scooped up the little worm. "HEY!" but I was helpless to do anything. I bet that was the end of that little worms Serenity!

Isn't life like that? Sometimes we are just tootin' right along, minding our own business and something comes out of nowhere and shakes up our Serenity? Was it within' our control? I think it's a bit of a "yes" and "no" answer...

Yes, because we choose our path ~ we choose to stay in the grass where we can safely stay in the blades ~ never taking risks or (essentially) hiding from life or we can cross the open expanse...opening ourselves up to whatever life brings us.

No, because we can not control other people or their choices... And sometimes our Serenity IS shaken up a bit...

Kind of by accident (although I do not believe in accidents) I ended up talking to HER (the one that wrote that e-mail). And I DO believe the "Stand Off" is over. Things happened. Things were said. But it's out of my control... I can't go back and "unDO" things or "unSAY" things or "unBE" things...

So watching that worm being scooped up, I finally realized it's all out of my control. I can't make somebody speak the truth, I can't make somebody forgive, I can't make somebody care. I can't... I can't... I can't... I cried after I talked to her (and I believe during the call too) as the brevity of it all came crashing down around me...I lost people that I cared about, I lost trust, I lost hope... and nothing can bring that back.

Thus my "White Knuckle" day... "Okay forgive, but don't forget". Nah Nah Nah... "Forget too... but defend yourself." Nope..."Forgive, forget and let 'em think what they will... I know my heart..."

Dang it! 

Ahhh found my feet again. I feel so much stronger... I talked to some friends during the "worst of it" (my white knuckle day) and they reminded me... that I am a strong person, I am valuable... I do have a good heart... and the people that are in my life today, WANT to be there... So, there ya have it.

sorry

One little word can say it all or say very little...

Sorry.

jojo wonders why

My dogs has issues! So, last night he got into my "bath" stuff and ATE some bath beads... ya know, the round balls with oil in 'em? I found them scattered through out the house and went around picking up his balls! Then of course, today he's had the trotts! And he looked so pathetic... "Mom, why is this happening to me?" "Well, SON it has everything to do with that stuff you ate last night." Bless his little heart... I just went to the shed to get the fans out...and he ATE the second package!!! Little blue balls all over the living room! And he wonders why he's miserable?

Went to get my taxes done today. I know, I know...it's late. I had to get an extension, because all my "stuff" was packed up when my house was being torn apart. So...anyway... let's think about this for a min. Ya know... your tax guy (in my case it's a guy) has a bit of an intimate relationship with you... How many of YOUR friends do you share ALL your financial information with? If you're honest ~ he knows everything about your financial income, spending, status and etc... So... I get into his office, pull out all my papers ~ neatly organized and he begins to go through them...
After awhile he says, "You're at a loss."
"yeah, no kidding... I'm taking the whole year off my personal calander..."
"that bad huh?"
"worse."

Cruel...

Anorexia nervosa takes an enormous toll on the body. But that's not all. It has the highest death rate of any mental illness. Between 5% and 20% of people who develop the disease eventually die from it. The longer you have it, the more likely you will die from it. Even for those who survive, the disorder can damage almost every body system. (ANAD)

Beyond experiencing the immediate effects of anorexia nervosa, individuals suffer long-term consequences throughout the life cycle, regardless of treatment. In addition to the risks of recurrence, malnutrition may cause irregular heart rhythms and heart failure. Lack of calcium places anorexics at increased risk for osteoporosis both during their illness and in later life. A majority of anorexics also have clinical depression while others suffer from anxiety or substance abuse, and many are at risk for suicide. Approximately 1 in 10 women afflicted with anorexia will die of starvation, cardiac arrest, or other medical complication, making its death rate among the highest for a psychiatric disease.


Of everything that was said about ME... laughing about my eating disorder was the MOST hurtful... I almost died and it was NO joke! Of the 30 women I was in treatment with, 8 (that I know of) have died. The girl in the picture with me, was one of them.

Had I not been made aware of those comments a week ago... I may have been more likely to encourage reconciliation with the one who made them.

No, I am not anorexic anymore... and I thank God for that! I've been in recovery for almost 10 years... and it was a long, HARD battle... and nothing to be poked fun at... That is simply cruel beyond measure...

Voooooommmm

Woooo Hoooo! That was SO fun! This IS my new "ride". VOOOOOOOOOOM! Something I've always wanted, but never got ... now I do and WOW!

































VOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM! And it was spontaneous. My friend called and said, "do ya wanna buy..." and I said, "when?" LOL Minor detail...I'm short. So, stopping... well, that'll take some getting used to! Helmet! I'm finally wearing my helmet! Never mind that I had it on backwards :) Guess I really AM special! And I dang near had to get a kids helmet... XS!

Awesome day!

I'm perplexed...

So... I was reading in my Psychology Today journal about online addictions. Did you know it's the growing trend in America? Addiction to the Internet! They now have support groups and training for therapist to specialize in treating this addiction. People spend countless hours on the computer (beyond work), neglecting family and work, becoming so engrossed in chat rooms and etc...

Now, I didn't doubt the ever growing population of Internet addicts! I've seen first hand the damage such a problem can have on the lives of individuals and their families... But here's what baffles me...

THE CENTER FOR ONLINE ADDICTION ANNOUNCES NEW ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP

http://www.netaddiction.com/newspr/support_group.htm

So, let me get this STRAIGHT... They are addicted to the Internet, therefore let's offer them counseling ONLINE? I'm not knocking online therapy ~ because I am a provider myself and have done fairly well with my "virtual office". But come on! That's like having an AA meeting in a bar!

Alas... On to another subject. It's 2:55 am and I've been awake for hours. I went to bed just fine...peaceful, excited about my day (Sat.) and the "adventure" that awaits... I'm like a little kid on Christmas! But when it's time to open the "present", I'll be too dog tired. hmmmm

I've been crocheting again. It's been a long time... That used to be something I really enjoyed doing... but when things got so ugly a while back... I didn't have time for it anymore... I was too busy putting my life back together... Now, things have settled down... my house is back to normal, my life is calm again... So, the other day I just decided it was time to get my hooks and yarn out... And I'm crocheting again! Ahhh it feels so good to be back to ME. Nothing remains the same ~ not even my hair ;)

Well, perhaps I'll go read some more about this online addiction and WHY people do the crazy stuff they do... I mean, come on... it IS a little nuts to go ONLINE and create a screen name just to play with someone else's emotions... to create screen names using someone else's FIRST and LAST name just to get a rise out of someone and then put the blame onto someone else... to use someone else's screen name to go into a chat room and mascaraed as them... Is it JUST me? Or does anyone else see the insanity of that? I'm perplexed!

Canary

The Canary

I was driving home one day, rush hour traffic on Chapman Avenue and I saw a little yellow bird in the street. It was flapping around and in imminent danger of being crushed under the wheel of one of the many cars moving in it's direction. I couldn't just drive by it and not do anything... So, I pulled over in the "no stopping anytime" zone, jumped out of my car... stopped traffic on the MAJOR street and scooped up the little bird.

I immediately took it to my vet's office. "I found this little bird in the middle of Chapman Avenue... Do what you can for it please." The vet said, he didn't think it would survive... They told me it was a Canary... So, I left the little Canary in the hands of my vet and went home. I had hope and faith that the little Canary would be okay ~ and I began to read everything I could about Canaries...

Did you know???? The word "Canary" is derived from the Latin Canaria, "of the dogs". Oh and they SING... That expression, "sing like a Canary" is indicative of their innate, natural instinct to sing. And it doesn't matter WHERE they are or WHO their audience is... if you place them in the kitchen, they sing. In the living room, they sing... Canaries SING EVERYWHERE.

Ahhh I prayed for that little Canary... I had faith and believed...

The next day, I got a call, "Your parakeet is ready to be picked up." "Ummm I don't have a Parakeet." "Yes, you brought it in yesterday." But, but, but... I studied about Canaries... So, I went and picked up the Parakeet whom I named, "Canary".

Did you think...

Did you think I was kidding? JoJo has spent ALL day at that cactus...looking for the friggin lizard! And he cries ~ real tears. But the lizard is

D-E-A-D!

My Mom thought he was depressed because I took his tent down. So... she went and bought him a doggie tent. Brought it over, we set it up, he went inside... uh huh... back to the yard to look for Larry the Lizard!

Sad. This is where I start singing... "don't it always seem to go...you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone..."

JoJo IS Depressed!

JOJO is DEPRESSED!

And NO it's not because his tent is gone... You see... there was a lizard in the back yard. Every day, jojo would chase Larry the Lizard around the yard. The lizard taunted jojo daily. "You can't catch me" and on it went... But the other day, he caught up to the lizard...and "played". I looked out the slider and saw him content in the grass, looking expectantly at his little lizard friend. Of course, I bolted out there... Larry the lizard was on his back, chest heaving. jojo just looked at him, "Get up! Let's play." I knew Larry the lizard's minutes were numbered. So, I picked him up...and placed him on a piece of card board...and laid him in the sun. But he took his last breath shortly there after.

Every since that day...jojo has been depressed. I'm serious. He lays in the back yard, looks longingly at the fence...waiting for Larry the lizard to come out to play. He cries. Just sits there and cries. Yesterday, I had a heart to heart with jojo, "you killed him bubba... he ain't coming back, because YOU killed him." Bless his little heart... he just doesn't understand. So, everyday... he looks for his friend and everyday he is heart broken.

Have you ever lost a friend? You were just "playing"... it was just a "game"... Yet, in the process wounded that friendship... Was the wound fatal? Or can there be healing? Do, you sit at the fence, and long for your friend? Anything you can do?????

If jojo could take it back ~ he would ~ in a heart beat ~ He misses his lizard friend... and jojo IS depressed.