The Tapesty of Life...

I am reminded again at how limited I am to view the "big picture"...

The Tapestry of life... often looks like an impossible tangle of knots and threads with no design, they don't seem to match or make much sense. Yet, there is something incredible, rational, and complete. Looking at the tapestry from above ~  every thread aligns with every other thread to create a purpose, value, meaning, and transcending beauty. I have seen this TRUTH my whole life...

Now the scattered shards of my "life" begin to rearrange into a picture far more beautiful than the one I had become accustomed to. My life is being crafted from the wreckage into something usable, whole and redeeming.


My life, as I knew it, crumbled that week in Sept. Once again, I found myself on my knees... and again it was laid out before me ~ the direction for my life to go... This time... I did not try to outrun, outsmart, outlast the universe...

It is a day I will NEVER forget... A couple weeks after losing everything (very little exaggeration when I say "everything"). Loaded jojo up and took him to the dog park. As he ran off to play with the other dogs... I walked and talked ~ circling the interior fence of the park... listening to Martina... having an internal dialogue. "I don't want to be refined anymore... Please, I'm content to be little and unrefined... this hurts... I can not bear the weight of all that is happening." It was clear. The response was undeniably... I was to go and lead ~ speak, counsel, write... I asked, "who am I?" in full recognition of all my mistakes and shortcomings. Sometimes I feel like nothing more than a bare-fisted prize fighter who gets the stuffing beat out of him every other day. Often, I am bruised and bloodied. My honest inadequacies were confessed that day to every dog in that park as they came over to greet me...

"why me?"

There in the semi-silent park, blowing gently through the trees and swirling into my heart, a familiar, peaceful response began to whisper, "you are a simple girl entangled with the same mistakes and shortcomings as everyone else...why NOT you? You are a small pebble plucked from a stream, and when thrown by MY hand, giants in the lives of those around you have fallen; it is not your strength but Mine...why NOT you?" With the dogs as my witness and hope as my guide, the lingering resistance that once gripped my heart began to crumble away. I could feel it falling until it dashed against the ground beneath my feet and shattered into irreparable fragments...

Sometimes clarity happens in the most unlikely places ~ at the dog park, in the bath tub or driving across town. I have come to believe that it IS our "bruising," our weakness, that is truly the most powerful and HONEST TRUTH we can share. Perhaps it IS sufficient to encourage others by simply stating, "friends, here are some of the mistakes I have made..."