Bruises

Another amazing day... Yesterday... Met my friend at my sister's house, we visited with my brother-in-law for a bit, then headed down to visit another friend in the hospital. Driving back, we stopped for a hike in the foothills... WOW! Breathtaking! And I am NOT minimizing BREATH TAKING. I am going to quit smoking... Walking along the trail, focusing on breathing and lost in my thoughts... So many jumbled thoughts, making their way into a cohesive blend of truth and clarity...

Bruises are evidence of where subdural bleeding has occurred. They are visual and often painful reminders of blows we have received. But unlike wounds, bruises do not leave scars. In time, deep purple turns into a rainbow of blue, violet, pink, and sometimes even a strangely beautiful yellowish green. Eventually our natural skin color returns and we are to the outside world, "back to normal." Yet, like our scars, our bruises can teach us so much more than just about pain. With the rhythmic crunch of my tennis shoes on the trail... I was reminded about the bruising blows my little heart has endured...

We found a spot and stopped to rest. While my friend was off taking pictures, I stretched out on a rock...warmed by the sun...thrilled by the beauty ~ I thought, "Life is so good...perhaps my bruised heart could change into something usable again. Maybe I just need to know that miracles really do still happen." I realized at that moment, that I must absorb and learn from my "bruise."

When we are caught in a season of feeling bruised and in pain, it is often difficult at that time to believe we can feel any other way. Pain is crushing, blinding, paralyzing. It is not unlike the venom of a predator, meant only to numb it's prey into uselessness. There, in that "feeling useless" place, we have a choice to make. We can decide to stay paralyzed in our pain, or we can decide to take steps toward our healing. I chose many months ago...to make a conscious effort to move into healing... Yet, that bruise was "bumped again" by the knowledge of pure betrayal... My heart was deadened to the one who had captured it ~ to the one that I prayed for reconciliation with...

Sometimes within our healing process some "dead flesh" needs to be excised away. Sometimes the knife of the Maker (God) is needed to release us from our "dead spots" that hold us back from an HONEST recovery. This might smart a bit at the time, but what is revealed beneath that deadness is ALWAYS worth the choice... Rising from that rock, heading back up the trail... I came to understand that my "deadness" might be the last release of my pain from this particular "blow". Perhaps... the next swipe of the knife will reveal a fresh newness within me that wasn't there before. Until that moment, I never really understood that the most beautiful thing about a bruise...is that they come...and last until they are absorbed...and then they GO!"

Release. As a butterfly is released from the cocoon... my heart will be released and able to soar again...